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I’m Not A Stay At Home Mom

February 3, 2020

That title sounds a little glaring, but after a lot of thinking over the past week in response to some messages I’ve been receiving on Instagram I wanted a chance to explain more about my career path and what I share online. It came to my attention/realization that a lot of moms were leaving my page feeling guilty, bad for not doing enough with their own kids and that made me feel awful. Maybe I should have realized this sooner? But I posted a few things that elicited a response from many women, who shared with me how they feel.

Since creating The Mama Notes, my goal has always been to INSPIRE & HELP moms and never want to make anyone feel bad about their mothering.

I want to preface this entire post by saying I have complete and utter respect for stay at home moms. I think they are incredible for what they do and a lot of the time I don’t think they get enough credit! I know how this job can be both so exhausting so fulfilling at the same time.

I also have complete and utter respect for full-time working moms who have successful careers outside the home in addition to being a mom. I have many friends who fall into this category and I’m in complete awe of how they balance both demands.

I personally fall into the working mom category – since becoming pregnant with my first child, Piper, over 4 years ago I’ve never stopped working. I love what I do and could never be a full-time stay at home mom, I’m just not cut out for it. I need to be fulfilled by my career and have big goals and dreams for where I want to take it. But the line is blurred- because I work from home and work for myself, I get many of the perks of a stay at home mom, spending a lot of time with my kids and having a flexible schedule. But it really has not been easy!

I think a lot of new followers are under the assumption that my Instagram and blog is a hobby, where I share the activities I do with my kids. Not true. I’ve been blogging over a decade! This is my 11th year and I’ve had a variety of other jobs along the ride. I’ve worked so hard, especially in the last 5 years to be at a point where I could rely on this site and my social media platforms to account for the majority of my income. I knew I wanted to carve out a career for myself during this phase of life that allowed me to spend time with my kids while also continuing to work. My husband works full-time, too and I’m responsible for half or more, of our monthly bills. Yes, I do this for money! I wrote a whole post about HOW I make money 2 years ago and much of this rings true today, you can read that here.

Yes, I share fun and easy activities to do with your kids – but I’m testing them, creating them, discovering them to share as part of my business. I spend HOURS on this, to find the perfect activities and recipes that work and are fun for my kids that I think your kids would like to! I spend hours styling them, taking photos, editing the photos , writing captions to create images I’m proud of to share with my audience online. Of course this is not REAL LIFE – of course when I serve my kids hot chocolate it does not look like this. It’s all part of my job, to create beautiful, inspiring content to help you in your journey in motherhood.

I would never have the time, energy or mental capacity to try all of these activities and projects with my kids if I was working full-time OR if I was a SAHM. I would never be doing this ALL if it wasn’t part of my job. My kids definitely benefit from it, which is a huge perk. With any job, there are also downsides to what I do – working all the time, not having paid time off, having to put yourself out there, receive negative comments about your parenting choices, not have a stable paycheck – I could go on and on!

I try to share ALL aspects of motherhood, and of course not every part of my life is online and open to the world, but I share the crappy days. When I mess up, or things don’t go how I had planned. I really hope that you see that, too!

Motherhood is TOUGH, the best thing I’ve ever done, and why I started this website. I hope that you never leave feeling less-than and instead find an idea that may bring you joy to share with your child.

Thank you for all your support, feedback and for listening!

Image by Olivia Reed Photo

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